Ex Machina

Go Big or Go Bust: Day 110 (on mortality and family dynamics)

Too bad my husband was driving so he couldn’t snap a Day 109 shot of me barfing out the window as we rounded the bend heading back from a screening of Ex Machina to our Guest Suite at the assisted living place.  Having a very difficult time. No way am I ‘going big’ here in any way other than emotionally.  


First of all there’s the hugely depressing fact of being in a place where you’re relentlessly confronted with your own worst case possible future.  A lot of people are sick, all of them are elderly and most are failing in one way or another.  There’s a fair amount of wry laughing about ways to ‘kill time’ and  compulsive talking is a surprisingly common affliction.  What at first seemed like a refreshing experience of meeting new people who are open, with no agenda and apparently no ego problems has morphed into the stark realization that I’ll be lucky if I do better than this.

Secondly, I’m not managing to find a peaceful balance between the demands of family and my high-needs self. 

But what’s the alternative?  Ex Machina?  At least robots can't get food poisoning.