So I made it through the second draft today, in spite of it being a gloriously warm and sunny day and in spite of the neighboring horn player extending his considerable energy onto an electric guitar.
Mr. Green has just now given me his feedback: he feels there are many good elements but that the foundation is weak for almost every character's resentment. (There's a lot of resentment.) I want to rewrite it before sending it on to Mr. Hoffman. Tomorrow.