Go Big or Go Bust: Day 47 (the gift of desperation)

6:20 AM  Woke after 5.5 hours of sleep with horrible clarity.   I'M NOT HAPPY.  Furthermore, there's a tape loop in my head of ___, ___, ___, and ___ (every single person in the past week who has been even a little unfriendly).  And worst of all ... I care!  Going to finish this free-writing, meditate for 20 minutes and go BACK TO BED.

10:28 AM  Just woke from this dream

I was in a hotel lobby in Canada or Italy, exhausted and frustrated with trying to promote The Louise Log.  Sitting there, staring straight ahead, I don't know what to do anymore.  A woman walked in and came over, 50-something, slightly overweight and wearing a cotton shirtwaist with a belt.  Out of the blue she started talking to me, asking what I do. 

(30 seconds later)

Mrs. Shirtwaist is on a lobby computer watching The Louise Log, laughing out loud and drawing a crowd. (P.S. She also subscribed to the mailing list.)

Could it really be that the problem is I'm standing in my own light?  Unwilling to let go