Go Big or Go Bust: Day 1 (A Journal About Launching "The Louise Log")

I’m not an actor.   Actors share their vulnerabilities, their secrets.  They’re all about self-revelation.  My entire life has prepared me to hide. 

You may have seen me in a video during our crowdfunder trying to get paper towels to keep my marriage intact.

and, more recently, in this video talking to radio Psychic Dan Logan about getting on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  These appearances were strictly for promotional reasons.   I was crowbarred out from behind the camera, against all my instincts.  

And guess what.  For better or for worse, my plan for 2015 is to continue down this terrifying path.  Go Big or Go Bust, a new reality web series about my challenges in marketing The Louise Log will be coming to you soon. 

My fear of doing this is trumped by my horror of watching seven years of work, 44 episodes of The Louise Log, slip into oblivion while other web series are breaking out, getting recognized and even making money.  

So but... why this?  I have two words for you: Mudd Lavoie.  Blame it on Mudd, the 800th person to like The Louise Log on facebook who is some kind of social media marketing Genius.  She's also a passionate and very convincing person.  I'm following along like a lamb to the slaughter.   

And so, in 2015, the plan is to radically change my life, to break out from behind the camera and barge into the frame, to let down my guard and surrender, to willingly walk into situations with a camera rolling where I’ll look vulnerable, possibly ridiculous and definitely not in my comfort zone.  Forget about whispering, I’ll talk in a regular voice and may even scream from the roof tops.  I hope that I’ll swap out demure for assertive and follow Amy Cuddy’s advice to take up space, that I’ll forget about how I look and be the bulldog powerhouse I usually only show my closest family and friends.  

In between the videos, I’ll be blogging short journal entries and hoping someone’ll want to follow along screaming “TOO MUCH AIN’T ENOUGH!!”.  That was a joke.  

I'm so glad you're here.  And I'm...  scared out of my wits.  

Here we goooooe!