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1 How To Drive Yourself Crazy

In which Louise ponders the big questions - of mortality and the power of a haircut.

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I'm afraid to waste time. Afraid to leave my pen uncapped. I don't want it to dry out. But it didn't even come with a cap. It's not that kind of a pen. Maybe I need a new planner -- to organize my time. Mostly I just feel anxious. That I'll never do anything with my life. Never reach my potential. Meanwhile, everybody else seems to be reaching theirs. Look at them! I don't even have the nerve to wiggle. Where do you start? Where'd I get the idea that a haircut would make me feel more alive? It's an inside job. But how am I supposed to get in there? Better live to 150. No pesticides. What do we need -- oh no! And I promised to be on time. I'm gonna be late again!